20 Thoughts That Run Through My Head In Car Line
The pick-up car line at the end of the school day is like the purgatory of Elementary
School. I’m stuck in my car, boxed in between the mini-vans and the I-just-like-
fancy-cars-and-in-no-way-am-I-having-a-midlife-crisis sports cars, with no where to
go, waiting for my children to crawl in to my car.
It can feel like an eternity.
Plenty of thoughts that vacillate between the banal and the bitter flood through
my head in those long minutes I sit in the driver’s seat. Maybe you have the same
experience, and if you’re like me, those thoughts bounce all over the place like a
pinball machine on crack.
Here are just a few of mine:
I should have left my house earlier, because this line is way too long.
Why couldn’t my kids take the bus?
Oh, look! There’s the PTA President. I think I’ll just sink further down in to my seat
to avoid eye contact, because I refuse to volunteer for the bake sale again this year.
I’m over this Iggy Azalea song.
I really need to get a manicure, because my cuticles look like I have been digging my
way out of prison.
What is this stain on my pants?
Mister, breathing down my bumper isn’t going to get your child in to your car any
time sooner. Give me some space, or I’ll be forced to become passive-aggressive and
take my sweet time moving up after the car in front of me.
I really need to clean out my car.
I know phones are banned in carline for safety and being present when you greet
your kid and all that, but I could totally get to that next level in Candy Crush right
What kind of name is Iggy, anyway?
T-minus three hours until dinner. What the heck am I going to make? Can a bowl of
tortilla chips be defined as a meal if I pair it with queso?
I wonder how well a food truck that went down the line, offering caffeine and sugar
to parents waiting in car line would do as a business venture?
Did I put on deodorant this morning? Nope. I don’t remember doing that. Oops.
Mental note: do not wave at anyone.
Do I have any snacks in the car? Because Mommy needs some Cheez Its.
Five bucks says my daughter will not be making it to the car with the raccoon Beanie
Boo she just had to take in with her this morning. Wait, who am I making this bet
with? Wow, I spend too much time alone during the day.
Would it kill you, car in front of me, to move up just five more feet so I can squeeze
in to the pick-up curb?
What is that smell?
I think that’s the kid that’s been kicking a soccer ball in to my son’s face every day at
recess. Resist the urge to yell at him. Resist the urge!
There are my little cuties! And look, the squabbling has started already, before
they’ve even poured in to the car! Still, these two make this whole car line nonsense
How many years until they can drive themselves?
Gina Jacobs Thomas holds the titles of wife, mom, former professional modern dancer, writer, snack connoisseur, pillow fort architect, and house D.J. Her home turf is Full Of It, where she writes about parenting through life with a children's music soundtrack, and has been featured on The Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, Mamapedia and In the Powder Room. Gina resides in Ohio with her family, where she resists the call to become a Buckeye fan. Follow her on Facebook or holler at her on Twitter